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Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, A.K.A The Book I’m Always Afraid To Pick Up

Rating: This a book I can’t rate. Please don’t make me.

SoC Obsessiveness Syndrome
Side effects of reading Six of Crows but not limited to:

  1. Shortness of breath
  2. Hyperventilation
  3. Weak knees
  4. Heart palpitations
  5. Headache
  6. Heartache
  7. Dehydration
  8. Dizziness
  9. High blood pressure
  10. Constant sweating
  11. Congestive heart failure

I was reluctant to start it because the first time I read it, it broke my heart. And it happened again. And again. And again. I hate it really. I hate Bardugo. I hate Nina and Kaz and Inej and Wylan and Jesper and Matthias for breaking me. I really hate everyone. When someone interrupts me while I’m reading and then asks about the book I’m reading and then pretend to be interested is really annoying but when someone interrupts me when I’m reading CK or any Bardugo novel or something so gripping, I can easily show them my mad knife skills πŸ˜‚
I am self-taught. These books can change you πŸ˜†

But I’m getting off-track…We’re talking about Crooked Kingdom.

It’s fine. Leigh Bardugo just ripped my heart and crushed it in front of me but I’m fine guys. Totally fine. Fiiiiiine! That is just invisible dust that got in my eyes. I am not bawling or ugly crying with snot running down my nose. Everything is fine….

Or maybe not.

I’m still re-re-reading it and I’m so afraid of what will happen if my heart stops again. Does anyone know what happens when your soul is stomped in front of you for the millionth time? Even idk. Planning to find out. Pray I don’t die.

This book is a luscious feast and even more enjoyable than SoC. And well, more realistic. For those who are still figuring whether to read it, READ IT. The only spoiler I can give is that it is nothing like you will ever expect it to be. And my cinnamon buns have suffered a lot 😭😭

Let’s start the logical stuff of the review:

Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?”
“Guns?” asked Jesper.
“Ships?” queried Inej.
“Bombs?” suggested Wylan.
“Political bribes?” offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. “This is where you tell us how awful we are,” she whispered.

Tell me who didn’t laugh at that. Over the course of these two books, I do have come to love all of them. Even Matthias and Kaz and every single side character. Pekka and Van Eck and all of them. I was squealing when Genya and Nikolai came!!!!

β€œDon’t worry, Da. People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It’s basically handshake.”

Jesper is the funniest, sassiest and the best in the whole series. I seriously hated Kaz and I could’ve threatened to slit his throat quietly for all the cold shoulder he gave Jesper but Ketterdam is quite far far away. I had my papa read SoC and he was like, “One hell of an awesome book but Jesper is rather queer.”
Some people don’t understand you as I do, Jes. Let’s be sassy together πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

β€œEverything is a negotiation with you, Brekker. You probably bartered your way out of the womb.”

True. Even I did double-take on how much crazy he is. And really stupid. Of course, he couldn’t appreciate being called stupid but he was an idiot when it came to Inej. I don’t get him *smh*

β€œIf you don’t care about money, Nina dear, call it by its other names.”
“Kruge? Scrub? Kaz’s one true love?”

Kaz and Nina’s banter is definitely worth crying for. Under everything, they’re all real friends and I love that about them. They don’t abandon or double-cross each other and actually understand. All of them are wonderful.

Inej is somewhat, creepily familiar to me. All of her qualities, the tight rope and gymnastics and caravan are eerily based on Indian tribes and I’m pretty sure she is an Indian-based character like Ravka is Russia and Kerch is Netherlands. So Sulis might be Indians. I don’t know for sure but my hunch could be true. What do you think?

“The Suli, being a nomadic, stateless people, may have been influenced by Jewish or Romani cultures. The physical appearances of the Suli, however, appear to have a South Asian influence. In particular, Suli performance seems to draw inspiration from the Bhavai theater form practiced in Gujarat, India.

I found this on the fandom page for the Suli and looooooook! I researched a little and the Romani people have Indian origins and their circus stuff is also based on Indian theatre. Yess! All those who were wondering, here’s your proof.

So I won’t write a review on whatever is good and bad in this book. If you leave it upto me, then a full 5 stars but I won’t even rate it. It is perhaps the bane of my existence. I have the gorgeous collector’s edition beside me but as I said, I’m too afraid to pick it up again. What can I say? CK crushes your heart and soul and leaves you in a permanently dazed state? Somewhat.

Do comment on what you think about it! And I just made a major breakthroughhhhhh in the history πŸ˜‚

Until we meet next time,

12 thoughts on “Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, A.K.A The Book I’m Always Afraid To Pick Up

  1. β€œI really hate everyone” is such a MOOD πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ But honestly I can see why, this sounds SO PAINFUL and I am SO SCARED omg. I need my marshmallows to be happy, is that so hard 😫 And ugh is Kaz STILL giving Jesper the cold shoulder???? My heart broke when he did it in SoC and Kaz I swear you have to stop 😱 And ahhh my dear Nikolai makes an appearance?!? 🀩 And ooh the Suli culture being based off of India’s is so cool! Great review!! ❀️❀️

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    1. No seriously, I hate anyone and everyone who interrupts my reading πŸ˜‚
      It really breaks your heart…It is really painful to read about my dear chocolate muffins being hurt 😭
      Oh yes. Kaz is sorta an idiot when it comes to friends and love. He needs to stop pushing everyone away. And Nikolai does come! 😍
      Yess! Inej was so familiar which is why I researched a little and we do have something in common πŸ˜…
      Aww, thank you! Do tell me when you read CK…Don’t procrastinate πŸ˜†

      Liked by 1 person

  2. omg that list in the beginning–YES! i’m absolutely obsessed with this series & i totally have to do a reread of this one!

    I’m still not over the ending of it, and the cast of characters is really amazing. The banter is definitely a favorite of mine.

    Great post!

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  3. I love this review! I just read CK for the first time last month and am currently rereading right now.

    I do love Jesper. He is such a charmer and was probably my fave of this book. But overall Inej and Kaz are my faves and my OTP forever and ever.

    I love Six of Crows 😍😍😍😍

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  4. THAT BEGINNING— i’m over here cackling because omg such a mood. I can second the validity of those symptoms because AHHH!! Loved these books so much! I have yet to read the original triology- only six of crows and crooked kingdom- and i can not wait. ahhh i’m so excited.
    i loved this review!!

    Like

    1. YAY! So glad you loved my review and those symptoms are certified πŸ˜‚
      I have only read one book from the first trilogy and honestly, it is not that good. Especially the shipping and the storyline!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. glad my very professional symptom knowledge could be put to use πŸ˜‚ oh well that’s encouraging eeek. i’ve been told that six of crows is so much better but i kind of want some more context into the world. plus when i do a reread of six of crows i’ll get some of those cameos and references. *fingers crossed ill like it*

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      2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        Even I read SoC before Shadow and Bone and there were some references like Genya and Nikolai and Alina. But other than that it is independent…

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