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Twilight | A Rant

Characters are the heart of a story. They move the plot, they make us love them. You get attached to them, you cheer with them and you cry with them. They are supposed to be interesting, intriguing and captivating.

Miss Bella Swan is as captivating as a rock. No no no, I think a rock has more personality than every single character in this book combined.

Bella is very very very ordinary. Everyone in the school tries to be nice to her. But our mc, on the other hand, only wants to be with ‘the guy who does not like any other girls ’cause they aren’t attractive.’ But it seems like Queen Mary Sue is suddenly so beautiful. I didn’t catch. I mean does she undergo a transformation or what? But to make her different, she is a klutz. Which means in every other page, she is either tripping right into Edward’s arms or into Jacob’s arms. Because really, a girl needs a guy every time.

I don’t relate to Bella. I can’t relate to a person who has no dreams, no aspirations, no goals, no plans, no passion, no life. Just ‘deep, overflowing love for her vampire boyfriend.’

She is so boring, that you will guaranteed fall asleep as she speaks. Her only passion in life before Edward came was to continuously whine about how she hates rain. And this whole place. And when Ed comes around, she switches to part time obsessing over him, how cold his skin is, how sexy he looks. Then still bitches about the weather. Grow up, Queen Mary Sue.

Only if she had at least 5 brain cells and common sense. But if she had, then what would be the use of the piano playing saviour Ed?

Enter Edward Cullen, the stalker-ish lover interest. He sneaks into Bella’s room and watches her sleep at night cause poor vamps don’t sleep. Some think it is *swoons* so romantic. But I just think it is creepy as hell. I’d hit him over his head, not fantasize about him.

He stalks her all around. So when Bella falls into trouble (again), then Mr. Perfect sweeps in, saves her and Bella thinks he is hawt!

Edward is very perfect. He is sparkly (everyone is describing his like this, so why not), cold, pale, bipolar, mysterious, plays piano, stalks, is a creep. He is perfect!!

Now if you look closely, Mr. Perfect is a hundred something vampire and Bella is barely even an adult, leave her metal maturity (She lacks it anyways). If this ain’t paedophilia, then I’m a vampire.

Everyone is made up of carboard. Even carboard has more life than them.

I hate love triangles. I HATE them. All because of Twilight. Why the fk did you have to add another creepy werewolfSeems like race and age does not matter at all. You took love is love too far. I don’t crush on cats, for god’s sake.

You know what would have been better? If Jacob and Edward ditched Klutz Queen and got together. We want gayness. I think it would have been much much better then. Thanks to daph pink for sharing this with me xD

Also, why is there an apple on the cover? I don’t understand.

How Your Dad Stalked Me: A supernatural love story.
Coming soon.

8 thoughts on “Twilight | A Rant

  1. YES SAME YOU’VE VOICED MY EXACT THOUGHTS
    He l i c k e d her tears how do you find this attractive…???

    Like

  2. PLEASE I AGREE. I like twilight but not because of boring bella, she’s so dumb, she’s like the textbook definition of dumb blonde. she’s got zero character, no bravery, no strength, she’s such a pushover with no thoughts of her own oof-

    Like

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